2012, The Beginning of the End

Here we are at the beginning of a new year, 2012.  By many accounts this is The year.  12/21/2012, the end of the world.  ( just heard "Twilight Zone," theme music in my head.)  It's true, just ask any Mayan you happen to meet on the street to open their day planner and penciled in right next to, "Human Sacrifice Palooza" is "End of the World Festival 2012".
Okay, I don't know a lot about the Mayan Calendar but, as for me, 2012, is the beginning of the end of me treating my body like a human garbage dump.  Stop trying to check and see if you've got the right name associated with this blog!  It's me, Deb Janosko, vegetarian, yoga teacher, promoter of mind, body, & spiritual health, and closet junky!
Hello, my name is Debra J. Janosko, and I am a substance abuser.  Crack?   Heroin?  No, but the substance I'm abusing is processed in much the same way.  It's just as potent, addictive, and destructive to the body.  A strange white crystal, C12H220, a.k.a. SUGAR!  While you wouldn't catch me within a city block of willingly sticking a needle in my arm, you're likely, on any given day, to find me sucking the life out of a lemon drop or a Hershey's Kiss.  I am not discriminate at all when it comes to sugar.  Never found a sweet I wouldn't eat!
Alas, I have hit rock bottom.  Sugar is taking it's toll on my body and I can no longer tolerate the symptoms.  Migraines, chronic fatigue, irritability, bloating, anxiety, depression, not to mention the tooth decay or premature aging of the skin.  (Tell me crack has anything on sugar....) There's also the constantly high insulin levels which causes my body to store excess carbs as fat! That's just what's going on today.  Sugar damage is slow and insidious.  After years of abuse, sugar destroys the pancreas, adrenals, throws the entire endocrine system out of whack causing a long list of damages. STOP THE TRAIN, I WANNA GET OFF!!!!!!  I am going cold turkey and that doesn't mean I'll be gnawing on that left-over turkey leg, YUCK!  I'm starting a 21 day green juice fast, system reboot on 01/01/2012.  The beginning of the end.....of my sugar addiction.
Statistics show that the average American man, woman, boy, or girl, consumes 115lbs. of sugar per year.  In our country, you're locked up, and rightly so, if you throw your babies in a rattlesnake pit but it's perfectly acceptable to pop Twinkies in their mouths all day.  Why is that?  We are criminal if we choice to destroy of own bodies with alcohol, meth, heroin, etc... but it's quite alright to choose to kill yourself with sugar.  Really?
One way or the other, the Mayans were right, 2012, is the beginning of the end.  We get to choose which end we are beginning.

Nifty Nuggets of Knowledge

Those of you who are familiar with my running know that I always start a race asking God to give me a bit of wisdom for my efforts. It never fails. I always walk away having gleaned some nifty nugget of knowledge. Yesterday was no exception. Before I'd cross the finish line, I had been gifted with two humdingers.


We enjoyed fine weather and had a record number of participants for the 30th Anniversary of the Coca Cola Classic 10k, 2011.  This was my 10th year to run this event.  Last year in this event my finishing time was 63minutes (10min. mile).  Over the past months I had trained hard to shave off some of my finishing time and I was quite confident in consistantly running a 9minute mile.  Making my finishing time somewhere short of 55minutes.  (Okay, I realize that isn't a fast run for most runners but I am proudly a member of the "Waddler Pack", accolades to John "The Penguin" Bingham, our fearless leader.)  During training I'd pushed so hard that I had severely weakened my left achilles tendon. 

Bouncing on my toes waiting for the starting gun, I made my request and then we were off.    The gun fired me off to a good start.   Everything was clicking.  Then, somewhere along the second mile I felt it.  It was like someone had struck a match in my left achilles.  I gritted my teeth and adjusted my gait.  Struggled, but finished the run in 66minutes averaging a 10minute mile throughout the event.  If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, "Forcing anything is a step backwards."  Lesson number 1, under my belt!  I got it!  Forcing doesn't make you powerful, it makes you late!  I will start all over.    I'll train right.  Come September, I'll run my marathon, and walk away feeling right and ready to boogie at the post-race party.

Now, on to nifty nugget number 2. (ew! that didn't sound right.)  You understand I'm speaking of life lessons, yes?  (Made ya giggle!) Seriously now.  I've ran many races during the past 10 years and all but one I have been alone at the finish line.  Never bothered me.  Yesterday as I ran through the shoot, I smacked right into an emotional wall.  Barely got away from the croud before I crumpled into a heap of tears.  At that moment, I felt completely alone.  Not just alone at the race but alone in my life.  I gathered myself up and wandered down a few blocks.  Whirling around in my pity-pot, unable to see the forest for the trees.  Tears streamed down my face.  My heart was in my throat.  And Then... Then my phone rang.  It was Nelda, my life long friend of 38 years.  She had ran a midnight event the night before and yet rousted early to come and take finish line photos of me.  To be with me.  Lesson #2?  The most rare and precious commodity in this life is a true friend.  It has been well said, "...a friend loves at all times...."

I finished.  Walked away with two golden bits of wisdom, nifty nuggets, if you will; 1- forcing anything just hinders the flow and 2- no one is ever truly alone.

In the Now with the Tao, Day-7, Verse-7

Tao Te Ching vs. 7- "Heaven is eternal--the earth endures.  Why do heaven and earth last forever?  They do not live for themselves only.  This is the secret of their durability. For this reason the sage puts himself last and so ends up ahead.  He stays a witness to life, so he endures.  Serve the needs of others, and all your own needs will be fulfilled.  Through selfless action, fulfillment is attained."

Wow, this verse so clearly speaks for itself.  There is a verse I recall from the Bible that says,  "But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:35-38 (New International Version)

Looking at the two scripture texts can you see the same message? If you hear a loud voice screaming, "What about me?" That is EGO! The ego is interested only in self unless, of course, it is pointing fingers and finding the faults in others. Dr. Dyer say, "E.G.O. stands for Edging God Out." The ego is ever desiring more everything and yet can not be satisfied with anything. The ego is like a busy chatty hamster on a wheel; never still, never quiet, and never actually getting anywhere. This is not how we are supposed to exist. Rather we are to live by yielding to our God centered self quietly seeking the good of others without seeking a return, in this all our own needs and/or desires are met.

In the Now with the Tao, Day 6, Verse 6

"What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" That's one of the many quotes I found when reading Peter McWilliams book, "DO IT! Let's Get Off Our Buts." The universe brought that book to me a few years ago. I had seen some light, so to speak, about a path I was on that was not in line with my own heart and consciousness. I was seeking. In the library one day I came across a book, "Life 101 Everything You Wished You Had Learned About Life In School, But Didn't." That looked like as good a place to start as any so I grabbed it. The book made sense and went down easy. I found more of Peter McWilliams work and continue to enjoy them to this day. Last week I picked up the, "DO IT!" book. Anytime I want to do something new, new projects, new accomplishments, even new ways of understanding my own life, I reach for the "DO IT" book. Too many times I dragged my "but" around and wouldn't even approach a new thing. The 6th Verse of the Tao echos the same encouragement as the "Do It" book. Which is; All the creativity you need is already alive and working in you and through you.

Tao, vs.6 "The spirit that never dies is called the mysterious feminine. Although she becomes the whole universe, her immaculate purity is never lost. Although she assumes countless forms, her true identity remains intact. The gateway to the mysterious female is called the root of creation. Listen to her voice, hear it echo through creation. Without fail, she reveals her presence. Without fail, she brings us to our own perfection. Although it is invisible, it endures; it will never end."

One of my best friends, an agnostic, refers to God as, "she." Her motivation is purely entertainment, of course. She finds those downward glances the reference induces quite amusing. But she isn't wrong. God is as much female as male. God, this creative cosmic energy source of all things is master Creator and because that source flows through us we are co-creators. Absolutely anything you can dream to do or be, you have an unlimited source of creative power and ability to-- "DO IT!"

I will experience the 6th vs. of the Tao this way; I will tap into the creative source that flows within me, get off my "but," and "DO IT!" Whatever "IT" is for me today.

In the Now with the Tao, Day Five, Verse Five

There are things in our daily life that ring so true and so loudly in our spirits that we can not deny them. This 5th verse of the Tao resounds in my spirit in just such a way.

Tao, Vs. 5: "Heaven and earth are impartial; they see the 10,000 things as straw dogs. The sage is not sentimental; he treats all his people as staw dogs. The sage is like heaven and earth; To him none are especially dear, nor is there anyone he disfavors. He gives and gives, without condition, offering his treasures to everyone. Between heaven and earth is a space like a bellows; empty and inexhaustible, the more it is used, the more it produces. Hold on to the center. Man was made to sit quietly and find the truth within." (In Stephen Mitchell's translation of the Tao Te Ching, he explains that "straw dogs were ritual objects, venerated before the ceremony but afterward abandoned and trampled underfoot.")

We must see ourselves in others. Love them as we do ourselves without conditions or judgements. Not esteeming one above another. No partialities, no matter what. I believe that so strongly that whether or not you agree with me...I love you and respect your right to be different.

Allow me to share something about myself, something I'm not very proud of. I lived a huge part of my life standing on my soapbox declaring how "right" I was. There is one enormous problem with that. In my declaration of my preceived "rightness," I very loudly proclaimed someone else as "wrong." I don't believe that anyone has the authority to do that for or to another person.

I want to practice this 5th verse this way; I want to stop judging others. They may look, act, and view the world totally different than I. I will squint if I have to but I will look until I see "God" in us both. No criticisms. No labels. Only love. God is Love.

"Then Peter began to speak: "I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right." (Acts 10:34,35 NIV Bible)

In the Now with the Tao, Day Four/ Verse Four;

"Two things in life are certain, death and taxes." Ben Franklin had that right, ay? Had to side step from daily Tao journaling to finish my taxes. But she's put to bed and can rest for another year.

Tao, vs.4: "The tao is empty but inexhaustible, bottomless, the ancestor of it all. The sharp edges become smooth; the twisted knots loosen; the sun is softened by a cloud; the dust settles into place. It is hidden but always present. I do not know who gave birth to it. It seems to be the common ancestor of all, the father of things."

In this lifes journey, no matter where you are or what you want to do, you will come across obstacles. When there are sharp edges that need smoothing or twisted knots that need loosening, turn your attention away from the need and toward the Source of all things, then all that is required for your indeavor will appear.

"And I will take the blind by a way of which they had no knowledge, guiding them by roads strange to them: I will make the dark places light before them, and the rough places smooth. These things will I do and will not give them up. "(Bible Basic English Is.42:16)

In the Now with the Tao, Day Three/ Verse Three;

When Vin and I got our first appartment we bought a hamster, Hapford, and a cat, Alexis. Hap had it made. He had plenty food and water. He had a nice home, he had tonnels, and even a wheel. All that stuff, but Hap was never content. He wanted one more thing...he wanted OUT! And the little escape artist got out many times. Alexis, on the other hand, seemed very contented. She'd sleek around, eat her fantsy feast, and lay in sunny spots on the carpet. I came home from work one afternoon to find my discontented hamsters, or what was left of him, a tiny heap on odd parts. Alexis, in a fine state of contented bliss. She had waited in stillness until opportunity could not be denied.

This brings us to the Tao, Vs.3;
"Putting a value on status will create contentiousness. If you overvalue possessions, people begin to steal. By not displaying what is desirable, you will cause the people's hearts to remain undisturbed. The sage governs by emptying minds and hearts, by weakening ambitions and strengthening bones. Practice not doing.... When action is pure and selfless, everthing settles into its own perfect place.

Lao-tzu isn't telling us to be lazy or inactive; rather to trust our path to be directed by the Source of your creation and not by our ego-driven desires. "Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth." (Bible: The New Living Translation,1Tim.6:6)

Excerpt from, "Change your Thoughts, Change Your Life," by Dr. Wayne Dyer: "Inventory your desires and then turn them over to the unnameable. Yes, Turn them over and do nothing but trust. At the same time, listen and watch for guidance, and then connect yourself to the perfect energy that sends whatever is necessary into your life."

I will be content and greatful for this day and all that has been placed in it for me. I will be present in this moment rather than lose it to some flimsy fleeting feeling of want. In this moment of "Now" there is no lack or want of anything. I am content.